‘Chai’ & ‘A Wish of Desire’

Photographer - Tobi Brun

Chai

two,
my grandmother bathed me with milk and haldi,
rubbed my skin with atta to remove hair
she said it was to brighten my skin
the one that resembled my ancestors'
the one that resembled the colour of chai.

six,
I was forced to dress up in pink frocks with floral patterns,
small sarees and kurtas with the cham-cham of my payal.
it was to teach me,
it was to make sure I understood how to be appealing.

twelve,
I told my mother to buy me skincare products,
'fair and lovely' always had a place on my dresser.
fourteen,
I was told,
not to wear shorts
to stop hugging my brother

to start helping my mother in the kitchen
to realise I was older now.

sixteen,
I started covering up my body
the dark patches on my skin.
the years of hurt on my arms,
with the kurtas of floral prints.

eighteen,
I found my sweet escaped
the one I had been yearning for
I had everything I wanted
I thought
I was complete
I thought
I now yearned for chai
I thought.

twenty-one,
I started wearing sarees,
with bangles on my hands
I started wearing suits with a red bindi between the kajal-laden eyes.
I started to love myself again,
I started drinking chai again.

A Wish of Desire

If I had a wish, I would wish to experience the minute moments in life
The moment that taught me what happiness meant.
I would return to memories filled with nonsensical chatter,
With little bouts of joy completed with salt caressing my chin.
When I tried to savour my half-melted popsicle in the July air,
Back to basking in the sun during December afternoons.
If I could relive my moments with you.
I would return to diving into the swimming pool,
Giggling under forts of weighted blankets and pillows,
To falling off my bicycle,
To dancing in the rain,
And jumping into puddles that make water splash onto your face.
To meet you all over again
Longing to return to my memories of you.
The memories that leave me blissfully dreaming about you.
The memories that I find to be abstract yet stunning.
In these moments, time stood still
They painted a masterpiece filled with hues of my happiness.

Sehaj Dhingra is a fifteen-year-old high school junior who enjoys writing poetry and wishes to share her work with the world. She writes about her connection with nature and her heritage. Her inspirations include authors and poets including Jhumpa Lahiri, Rupi Kaur, and Maya Angelou. She wishes to showcase her poetry and art in different forms so that everyone may be able to relate to it in one way or another.